Have you ever been at a party and overheard a couple say, “Oh, we never fight!” Don’t believe them!
Couples fight!
We will be married 47 years this August, and we have had our fair share of fights. As a matter of fact, we had a pretty good one yesterday, as I recall it had to do with my being distracted by my new iPhone. The good news is that over the years, we have learned to fight fair. You see, part of being a resilient couple is that we fight, but we do it fairly.
Did you know that most of what we fight about really doesn’t matter?
As a matter of fact, Dr. John Gottman, the leading authority on relationsship says,
“Our research has shown that 69% of relationship conflict is about perpetual problems. All couples have them — these problems are grounded in the fundamental differences that any two people face. They are either fundamental differences in your personalities that repeatedly create conflict or fundamental differences in your lifestyle needs.”
The key to any fight is to maintain control. You do not have the right to be immature, childish, or abusive. If you do have legitimate feelings and issues, you are entitled to give a reasonable voice to those feelings in a constructive way. (That…
