69% of your relationship problems are unsolvable!
Dr. John Gottman
I remember the day I read this statistic in Dr. John Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. At first, I was a bit surprised, but as I began to absorb what he was saying, I felt a sense of relief. As my wife and I began to understand what this statistic was telling us, it began to change our perspective and my work as a marriage counselor. Frankly, we were both relieved to know that the research indicated that we were reasonably normal.
It is always interesting when I present this concept to a couple, many of whom are frustrated to know that most of their problems are not solvable. When you think about it, how much time and energy do we waste as a couple fighting over things that do not have a solution. It’s kind of like a puppy chasing its tail. In the end, the puppy feverishly runs in a circle, the tail is never captured, and the dog is dizzy, disoriented, and tired.
I believe one of the best ways to understand this has to do with perspective.
You see, perspective is everything.
That is, when you can break apart something, or look at it from a new angle, it loses its power over you. It helps you realize and hopefully begin to accept that many of the problems you have in your…
